She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
