i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
