Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
