then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
