Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
