the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
