oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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