we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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