I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
