I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
