my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
