Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
