In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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