im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
