the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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