just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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