Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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