You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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