I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
