After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
