exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize