He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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