We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
