in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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