well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Shame is for Republicans.
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