we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
