I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
