I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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