i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
