i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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