I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
