I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Bring me that man meat
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
