I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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