3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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