if i can run in heels then i can drive
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
