Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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