please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
