i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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