Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
