but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
