i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
