AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
