I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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