theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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