so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
