Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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