Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
