Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
