I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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