So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
